I hate my life…

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I have no one…nothing. Nice guy, witty, friendly, have money own my own home and not really that bad looking either. But for whatever reason.. i get f**ked…

I have almost everything one could want.. but live a miserable existence.. I don’t get it. Someone upstairs who I DON’T believe seems to like f**king up my life.. whenever something good happens.. something bad happens to offset it. I can NEVER EVER get ahead.. emotionally.

I’m a loner… I have no one. If I died tomorrow in bed.. no one would know until I start to rot…. no one.

I guess one of the reason why I buy so much is .. to get over the loneliness?

I can’t get my act right it seems… every move always seem to end up being the wrong one…

I can’t help the fact to think… what if I end it today? Who would care or even know?

Although I have a comfortable living without a job. I’m actually doing ok. But not ok in the emotional dept.. you know?

At this point.. I would trade in a second to be happy and poor than unhappy and rich…

Unfortunately.. i don’t have enough money to buy happiess.. just enough to live comfortably….

Why can’t I find someone.. who is caring, kind, gentle, graceful and always sees the lighter side of things?

I guess that’s too much to ask.. because I’m not that.. mostly…

Now I understand why some are driven to end it all… makes sense… they have NOTHING to lose… they have no one.. no one cares except when they are owed money….

I’ve done pros and cons.. and I don’t see a single con if i were to end it all… not one… instead.. everyone around me whom I don’t care much for will get a windfall of money…ironically bring them happiness…

maybe I should…

July 24, 2010 was one of my worse day ever… first day i realized…. if I don’t exist…no one would care or know…

I can’t find happiness…